Produced, mixed and mastered by
ICEYSLURKIN

The lyrics to 'ICEY' were initially a project proposal for my Masters GD&A course, exploring the topic ‘ALIAS’, and how people develop one as a result to unsupported mental health and trauma.

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This was written in 2020, at a point when I was awaiting a 2nd MRI scan for my brain abnormality. I was consumed by depression, was antisocial, and all I wanted to do was escape from all the bullshit and not think about anything at all.

I would literally sedate myself and stair at my wall for hours unable to move. I did not care about anything except feeling nothing. But every time I came round I would feel even more guilt from the absence of reality I was purposely putting myself into.

I completely threw away my opportunity to get a masters. And with the pandemic in full force I was apathetic to people suffering around me. I was very delusional at this time and people mentioned multiple times that I would speak gibberish or not make any sense, repeating myself.

I would speak to myself, as I was the only one in my presence for so long that I forgot reality. All there was, was my computer in terms of socialising. But when going through extreme paranoia, technology was virtually impossible to use for communicating, as I would think people were watching me or listening through the tech.

I also started to perceive myself as dead or as a literal Spider. I would look in the mirror and not recognise my own face. I couldn’t understand what was happening to me and I wouldn’t talk to anyone about it. It got that bad I had to drop out of uni. With the impending MRI scan coming up I just didn’t care anymore as in a year I would be dead anyway, that’s what my head would be telling me.

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The 2nd half of the track is all the lyrics reversed, which symbolises accepting my ongoing mental health and neurological issues, as well as starting a new, and re inventing myself to be able to face society again.

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