I linked up with SSIIXX late 2025 to create SOUL. It was a very spontaneous day and was not planned. The song kind of made itself in no time and no effort.

 

SSIIXX’s voice was raspy as hell due to overworking and constantly trying to be the perfectionist that he is. He is a very valuable person to me in general as he has seen me go from nothing, intoxicated and no goals to striving to make it out of the hole I dug myself. 

 

The lyrics were freestyled, I think I did the initial lyrics in 1 take. This doesn’t normally happen for me at the studio as I get way too self-conscious and anxiety consumes me. But working with SSIIXX didn’t feel like I had to hide anything.

 

This song turned out to be one of my favourite on the album. The energy it brought us both was the main reason. It gave us something to hope for. It’s a sad song but it sums up what we were both feeling at the time, and I feel expressing this collaboratively helped push us both in our own directions for the better.

 

The last verse I recorded at home as I was struggling with processing everything going on at the time including finally being referred back to mental health services for the discussion of potential therapy. Even though this is something I knew I needed at the time, I didn’t want to attend the appointments as I was scared of bringing past trauma back upto the surface, especially whilst pregnant.

 

“Swear on my soul, you’ve got my all”

Is a metaphor for literally saying you will die if your love for others is not real.

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“You think my love’s placebo”

Is a metaphor for prescription medication and how sometimes it just doesn’t work to the point you think it is only a placebo. The same goes for recreational ones, you get to a point where you’re that paranoid and don’t believe anything is real or ‘the real thing’. The same goes for love. Even when someone is being genuine, this constant paranoia and believing people are hostile clouds receiving the true unconditional love they are trying to give you because you don’t love yourself.

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SSIIXX’s insight-

 

“This track is about my antics as an artist in terms of drinking and the fast paced life of it all. It also dives into how this works in terms of having relationships, and the experiences they bring”.

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